Closed Body Language

Closed Body Language

Have you ever wondered if your spouse, friend, co-worker, or boss was bored with everything that came out of your mouth, but you were not quite able to tell by their body language? Well, now you will be able to tell if what you are saying is falling upon deaf ears. One of the first cues that someone is totally tuning you out is their gaze level. If they are constantly distracted by every little noise or movement you can bet they are not truly paying attention to you, regardless of how many times they tell you they are listening. Watch for fidgety hands, feet, twitching eyes, all of these are indicators you have not captured your audience's attention. A huge clue is when a person begins to yawn or slouch. Granted, yawning can be an indicator that a person is lacking oxygen, however, when bored, a person will also yawn. If someone straight up falls asleep on you, then you have a real problem with your presentation skills and should consider taking some speech or effective communication classes. Some reasons people may choose to tune out is that the topic you are discussing with them is something they do not want to listen to or they have heard repeatedly from you in the first place. If a person has no stake in what you are discussing, it is very easy for them to lose interest and become bored quickly. When speaking to a group or on a one on one basis it is important to use body language while you speak. Facial, and hand movements can help to emphasize what you are trying to get across as well as stimulate both the visual and audio senses in your audience. Long drawn out explanations are another quick way to lose your audience attention. Keep it short and to the point. You do not need to re-explain the same thing 50 different ways to get your point across. Always ask questions when speaking with anyone. It is a good indicator of the interest level as well. Often, if a person is bored you may also see closed body language. Closed body language tells you that your audience has totally shut down on you and as far as they are concerned, you are not even in the same room with them any longer even if you are standing directly in front of their face. Teens are excellent example in using closed body language. Closed body language can also present a defensive action for people as well. If you are confronting a person and they exhibit closed body language, it may be because you are scaring them and in order for you to get across what you are trying to say effectively, you should change your approach. Examples of closed body language are curling up in a ball, rocking, tightly folded arms, almost in a self hug formation, legs tightly crossed or even twisted/intertwined with one another, or with a chair or table leg, and a downward gaze or fixated gaze at an object, wall, or even feet. There may be many reasons why you receive closed body language from an individual. Do not automatically assume it is all about you or what you are saying. The person may have just had an extremely difficult day. When you experience someone who appears to close up during a discussion, note what was being said at the time that the body language changed. It can be a good indicator as to what is possibly going on with them. When a person feels threatened, even verbally, their body will react. They will get into either a defensive mode or an aggressive mode. In the defensive mode, it is a self-preservation mode. Curling up in a ball protects vulnerable organs and body parts in case of an attack. It can also act as a self-nurturing affect, to soothe a person. Another reason people may exhibit closed body language is that they are trying to hide something from the other person such as tears or facial expressions. On way to move a person from a closed body language to a more open and accepting body language is to offer them something to hold such as a drink (or with a child, offer a toy). Another way is to mimic their body language, however not in a demeaning manner. Move in closer while still respecting personal space and gradually work into copying their closed body language. This can build a non-verbal bond. As the person begins to relax their closed body position, you also begin to relax at their rate and comfort level.