Deceptive Body Language
Deceptive body language should be necessary for everyone to learn. It can help you to distinguish if someone is being honest with you or trying to pull a fast one. Mind you, there are those that are quite good at covering deceptive body language, such as sales people, psychopaths, and criminally minded individuals. One common way to tell if a person is being deceptive by their body language is to watch for anxiety cues. Some common anxiety cues are sweating, tension, rubbing back of the neck or other body parts, sudden movements, body twitches, voice changes and increase in speed of speech, chewing on the inside of one's mouth, and shoving hands in pockets or acting very fidgety. A person, when lying, will often times try to hide their deception by attempting to gain control over their body language through forced smiles and exaggerated hand gestures. This may present as odd clumsy or jerky presenting movements. Their speech may present as hesitant because of their attempts to slow it down and think intensively as to what to say next. They will often speak looking distracted and avoid eye contact. If standing, they may shift their weight from one foot to another more often than normal as well. Law enforcement is trained to read body language. As part of that training, they learn about how the brain works and how the body reacts when using different parts of brain when thinking, such as eye movement. It is believed that the direction one looks when responding to a question can help in determining if the person is lying. This is not always a good indicator to be used in truth finding; however, if a person looks to the right while answering a question, you should at least pay close attention to what they are saying. It is thought to be instinctive action to look to the right when one is utilizing the left side of their brain, the logic and analytic side and to look to the left when using the right side of your brain, the emotional and creative side. It is thought that when a person lying they utilize the left part of their brain to create the lie which causes their eyes to gaze to the right. There is documentation that states differing views on lying and eye gaze, some say a person is lying when they look to the right where others say the left. So do not be judge and jury just because of the direction a person looks when they respond to a question you ask or are telling you a story. Pay close attention to all their body language, as well as their words before throwing the book at someone. Here are a few more interesting things about eye gaze when trying to recall a memory or store data. When we are trying to recall a memory, we use the right side of our brain, making our eyes gaze to the left. When you are seeking visual memories your eyes gaze upward, and when a person gazes downward, they are trying to recall emotional memories. However, the shifty eye, gazing right to left does not mean the person is a shyster, it only means they are trying to recall or process auditory memories.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Closed Body Language
Closed Body Language
Have you ever wondered if your spouse, friend, co-worker, or boss was bored with everything that came out of your mouth, but you were not quite able to tell by their body language? Well, now you will be able to tell if what you are saying is falling upon deaf ears. One of the first cues that someone is totally tuning you out is their gaze level. If they are constantly distracted by every little noise or movement you can bet they are not truly paying attention to you, regardless of how many times they tell you they are listening. Watch for fidgety hands, feet, twitching eyes, all of these are indicators you have not captured your audience's attention. A huge clue is when a person begins to yawn or slouch. Granted, yawning can be an indicator that a person is lacking oxygen, however, when bored, a person will also yawn. If someone straight up falls asleep on you, then you have a real problem with your presentation skills and should consider taking some speech or effective communication classes. Some reasons people may choose to tune out is that the topic you are discussing with them is something they do not want to listen to or they have heard repeatedly from you in the first place. If a person has no stake in what you are discussing, it is very easy for them to lose interest and become bored quickly. When speaking to a group or on a one on one basis it is important to use body language while you speak. Facial, and hand movements can help to emphasize what you are trying to get across as well as stimulate both the visual and audio senses in your audience. Long drawn out explanations are another quick way to lose your audience attention. Keep it short and to the point. You do not need to re-explain the same thing 50 different ways to get your point across. Always ask questions when speaking with anyone. It is a good indicator of the interest level as well. Often, if a person is bored you may also see closed body language. Closed body language tells you that your audience has totally shut down on you and as far as they are concerned, you are not even in the same room with them any longer even if you are standing directly in front of their face. Teens are excellent example in using closed body language. Closed body language can also present a defensive action for people as well. If you are confronting a person and they exhibit closed body language, it may be because you are scaring them and in order for you to get across what you are trying to say effectively, you should change your approach. Examples of closed body language are curling up in a ball, rocking, tightly folded arms, almost in a self hug formation, legs tightly crossed or even twisted/intertwined with one another, or with a chair or table leg, and a downward gaze or fixated gaze at an object, wall, or even feet. There may be many reasons why you receive closed body language from an individual. Do not automatically assume it is all about you or what you are saying. The person may have just had an extremely difficult day. When you experience someone who appears to close up during a discussion, note what was being said at the time that the body language changed. It can be a good indicator as to what is possibly going on with them. When a person feels threatened, even verbally, their body will react. They will get into either a defensive mode or an aggressive mode. In the defensive mode, it is a self-preservation mode. Curling up in a ball protects vulnerable organs and body parts in case of an attack. It can also act as a self-nurturing affect, to soothe a person. Another reason people may exhibit closed body language is that they are trying to hide something from the other person such as tears or facial expressions. On way to move a person from a closed body language to a more open and accepting body language is to offer them something to hold such as a drink (or with a child, offer a toy). Another way is to mimic their body language, however not in a demeaning manner. Move in closer while still respecting personal space and gradually work into copying their closed body language. This can build a non-verbal bond. As the person begins to relax their closed body position, you also begin to relax at their rate and comfort level.
Have you ever wondered if your spouse, friend, co-worker, or boss was bored with everything that came out of your mouth, but you were not quite able to tell by their body language? Well, now you will be able to tell if what you are saying is falling upon deaf ears. One of the first cues that someone is totally tuning you out is their gaze level. If they are constantly distracted by every little noise or movement you can bet they are not truly paying attention to you, regardless of how many times they tell you they are listening. Watch for fidgety hands, feet, twitching eyes, all of these are indicators you have not captured your audience's attention. A huge clue is when a person begins to yawn or slouch. Granted, yawning can be an indicator that a person is lacking oxygen, however, when bored, a person will also yawn. If someone straight up falls asleep on you, then you have a real problem with your presentation skills and should consider taking some speech or effective communication classes. Some reasons people may choose to tune out is that the topic you are discussing with them is something they do not want to listen to or they have heard repeatedly from you in the first place. If a person has no stake in what you are discussing, it is very easy for them to lose interest and become bored quickly. When speaking to a group or on a one on one basis it is important to use body language while you speak. Facial, and hand movements can help to emphasize what you are trying to get across as well as stimulate both the visual and audio senses in your audience. Long drawn out explanations are another quick way to lose your audience attention. Keep it short and to the point. You do not need to re-explain the same thing 50 different ways to get your point across. Always ask questions when speaking with anyone. It is a good indicator of the interest level as well. Often, if a person is bored you may also see closed body language. Closed body language tells you that your audience has totally shut down on you and as far as they are concerned, you are not even in the same room with them any longer even if you are standing directly in front of their face. Teens are excellent example in using closed body language. Closed body language can also present a defensive action for people as well. If you are confronting a person and they exhibit closed body language, it may be because you are scaring them and in order for you to get across what you are trying to say effectively, you should change your approach. Examples of closed body language are curling up in a ball, rocking, tightly folded arms, almost in a self hug formation, legs tightly crossed or even twisted/intertwined with one another, or with a chair or table leg, and a downward gaze or fixated gaze at an object, wall, or even feet. There may be many reasons why you receive closed body language from an individual. Do not automatically assume it is all about you or what you are saying. The person may have just had an extremely difficult day. When you experience someone who appears to close up during a discussion, note what was being said at the time that the body language changed. It can be a good indicator as to what is possibly going on with them. When a person feels threatened, even verbally, their body will react. They will get into either a defensive mode or an aggressive mode. In the defensive mode, it is a self-preservation mode. Curling up in a ball protects vulnerable organs and body parts in case of an attack. It can also act as a self-nurturing affect, to soothe a person. Another reason people may exhibit closed body language is that they are trying to hide something from the other person such as tears or facial expressions. On way to move a person from a closed body language to a more open and accepting body language is to offer them something to hold such as a drink (or with a child, offer a toy). Another way is to mimic their body language, however not in a demeaning manner. Move in closer while still respecting personal space and gradually work into copying their closed body language. This can build a non-verbal bond. As the person begins to relax their closed body position, you also begin to relax at their rate and comfort level.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)